Dreams and Desperation
by Kawaii-Aika
Summary: Music brings joy to many, but perhaps even those who love it most are hurt by it most.


Dreams and Desperation

 **A/N: I know I haven't updated any of my stories in a long time and that is mostly due to it being junior year now and... it's a lot of work you know I'll try and get some chapters uploaded for my ongoing Fairy Tail stories. Thank you all for your patience and hope you enjoy this one shot I randomly came up with based on my own experiences thank you!**

...

The piano seemed so far away even though it was right at his fingertips. It seemed foreign to him although he had been playing it for half his life. The smooth black and white keys shone in the lamplight. The sleek black polish reflected the face of the pianist. It was expertly crafted, this piano. He knew that no one could deny that the musical instrument was beautiful.

But to Kousei, the piano was an instrument of torture. Every time he neared the keyboard, his heart would begin pounding. No matter what he did, he wouldn't be able to calm his erratic heartbeat. Sweat would trickle down his forehead. His fingers would tremble as they jumped across the keys. Each note emitted by the piano pierced through him, stabbing like a dagger driven deep inside his body- twisted to amplify the pain.

At least... He could still hear the notes. But what good did that do for him if the notes were viciously attacking him? What good did it do for him if he couldn't remember why he loved the piano?

He slammed his hands down onto the piano. The dissonant notes rang out in the empty practice room. Kousei let his heavy head drop down onto the keys. Tears welled up in his eyes and slowly rolled down his face. He watched helplessly as the pearly droplets trickled onto the pristine black and white keys. He closed his eyes tight, trying to imagine the angelic voice of the piano that he had once loved. All he could hear were the sharp needles the embedded themselves into his brain. He pushed back from the piano, rising from the bench abruptly. He slammed the cover down, not caring for state of which he left the piano in. He collapsed to the ground- falling onto the sheet music that he had thrown there just a few minutes before. The crunch of the papers did not bother him in the least.

Why did he lock himself up in this room for hours each day? Slaving away at the instrument for what reason? His mother was dead. He failed the last competition he entered. He no longer loved the piano. Why should he continue playing?

Kousei forced himself to sit up and stared blankly at the sheet music strewn across the floor. Black notes on white paper. He slowly turned to look around the room. A black piano with black and white keys. Shelves and shelves of black bound binders.

A dry smile appeared on Kousei's face. It was obvious why the still played the piano. It was obvious why he locked himself in the music room for hours on end.

The world of the piano was monochrome. The lonely instrument was a reflection of Kousei's own thoughts.

Kousei rose from the ground and walked slowly toward the instrument.

"You and I are a lot more alike than I thought we were, huh..." He murmured softly, resting his fingers lightly on the edge of the polished piano.

The clattering of an object falling to the ground echoed about the empty auditorium. Her pale, trembling fingers remained hovering above the strings. Her eyes were wide with shock. The bow, once powerful and bold in her hand, now was helpless on the ground. Slowly, she lowered her right hand, breathing heavily. She bent her knees, reaching toward the fallen extension of her arm and gasped as she nearly lost her balance. Her violin tumbled from her hand to the ground. The shock sent her falling backward.

Her cry echoed throughout the empty auditorium. Her whole body was shaking. Kaori lifted her trembling hands to her eye level. Could she not hold the violin properly any longer? Were her hands too weak to play her beloved instrument? She reached forward and lifted the wooden beauty from the ground and clutched it to her chest. Tears streamed down her face. She pressed her fingers to the strings, lightly plucking, attempting to bring about a melody. She closed her eyes, attempting to coax the beautiful voice from the violin... a voice she knew existed within it.

Nothing. Only empty, dry notes were emitted by her instrument. It lacked the resonance it once boldly displayed. It lacked the life that it was well known for.

Desperately, she lunged for the bow. Her fingers curled around the end and she rested her pinky on the tip. With difficulty, she found the balance point with her weak hands. Struggling, she lifted the instrument to her shoulder and drew the bow delicately across the strings. The sounds that emerged from the beautiful instrument was but a shadow of the prism of colors it used to display. It was a mournful, dreadful, scratchy tone that drove itself deep into her heart... causing her to clutch her heart and wince.

"You're dying..." Kaori whispered. She reached out and lightly rested her fingertips on the fingerboard of the violin. She gently stroked it, tracing the finely crafted edges with her finger. A single tear dropped onto the polished wood.

"...like me."


End file.
